[K honestly I know this skin is quite gross so I promise I'll change it soon! Can some kind soul design one for me?]
A's are over, but life doesn't feel like it's any better nor easier.
Not that I'm emo now or what but honestly, I am rather disappointed with how things are happening now. Life seems so aimless now when there's nothing to do. Why are we so afraid to be doing nothing anyway? This totally reminds be of Absurd Drama. Gosh *bangs head on wall*
Anyway, talking about A levels. I wouldn't dare to predict my grades, because all I can visualize is... Cs and Ds. Now that there's nothing to do, I feel kinda forced to face all these horrifying thoughts of not getting good results and not being able to go into a uni... argh. Well I don't think I'm the only one right? Now I can just pray to whatever God that is available for decent grades, or I'll be in deep trouble because neither do I have the cash to go private uni/overseas nor go back to TPJC and retake my As because I take TSD. How sad. That means, DIE ALSO MUST ENTER A LOCAL UNI. Not that I didn't realize this earlier, but this whole idea just (finally) got into my head. Slow. Even so, I doubt I'll be even more motivated to study anyway.
Yah yah enough whining ruishan.
Sometimes I really question myself if I really am happy and if I really am that carefree and optimistic/hyper/crazy like what others think of me. I mean, looking at what I've said earlier on, I do sound... suicidal, or at least depressed. Dangerous area. I guess I should just stop thinking so much and believe that I am happy? Self-denial... wouldn't be that bad.. which brings me to the Absurd quote again, "Illusions are only illusions, but we can never do without them."
OK ENOUGH. MY BRAIN IS SO CHOKED WITH ALL THESE PHILOSOPHICAL BULLSHIT WHAT IS THIS! (sudden outburst)
I think I am suffering from.. Bipolar. It's something about extreme moods right?
Haha cool (Y)
Btw, I applied for a full-time job at Monetary Authority of Singapore (MAS) and I really hope I get it because I really need cash. I don't like having to ask my parents for money when I want to buy something. Idk but it makes me guilty? Maybe that's why I didn't mind doing lousy jobs like door to door sales. ANYWAY.. any of you have good jobs to introduce? If yes please tag k! Thanks :D
p/s: I want to go for a photoshoot. Not studio though. Any good photographers to recommend?
p/p/s: Prom is nearing! Really hope it'll be fun! Can't wait to take pics with hot babes and hunks.
p/p/p/s: May I know what does "p/s" stand for? I feel bimbotic but nvm.
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